Trying to leave is hard.

It is really hard to leave when he is being so nice.
He wants me to stay and when I do not have a clear plan in place - my timing wasn't ideal, it makes it even harder.

It is June and I have to stay home/work part-time because my 8-year-old is unable to attend camps. Therefore I can not afford to "leave" at this time. I have to wait till August until I can work full-time or at least get enough hours to afford to pitifully live on my own.

How do single moms make it!?

SO, thoughts of
"life isn't that bad"
"I can make this work"
"Is this really worth it to leave?"
"the kids are going to think I'm leaving them too"
and such enter my mind.

"Suck it up butter-cup"
My husband is a good looking guy and I'm an attractive female - we are a good looking couple.

So, what is so bad?

Memories.
Memories and pain of hurt feelings that I cannot shake.

I forgive him but my rational brain cannot forget.
After being let down so many times I finally developed enough self respect to tell myself I deserve to be treated better.

And suddenly when I get the nerve to say I'm done and I'm talking to another guy...he changes.
So do I stay? Do I give him chance number 20?
Or do I keep my self dignity and go out into the world and pave a new path?