Moving Forward

Is my choice to stay based on reasoning of fear or love?

Is my choice to leave based on fear or love?

If I stay, it is because I am scared to leave everything behind and start over.
If I leave, it is love and respect for myself.

Therefore I must brave it and leave.
If I stayed I would be faking it - choosing the "easy" route and always be thinking what if.

But then the route of the exit has to be chosen.
I kept thinking how hard it will be to leave, to afford everything on my own and allow him to keep the house and the kids could keep their familiar home.
Why leave?
I love my house, but I cannot afford it...not on my own.

But thankfully I have logical heads to talk to and I was awakened to the realization that I cannot simply walk away and live a difficult life...if that was the case then I might as well stay.

The house will have to be sold. Debts need to be paid. I should not be punished or feel punished for wanting a divorce. I should be restored to what I had before I was married - debt free and a house of my own.
And once debt is paid and a settlement is made then we can part ways and both have enough for a down payment for two separate houses.

I can find a little house and have a little 400-500$ month payment and a little money in the savings to work on re-building my business.

Life is about to get interesting.

It's the end of June. I just need to stick it out until mid August.
That will give me time to purge and organize.