Bumble Bee Notes

I finally moved out. I moved to my mom's place (which is actually her ex husbands place - that is another story) . I hesitated to move for too long. I didn't want to leave my home, it didn't seem fair but I was tired of feeling suppressed. Sleeping in a non judgement zone was so freeing. My chest, my soul felt so much lighter. Unfortunately I not only have my own respect and self worth that I am working on through this process but also family karma I am overcoming as well. My mother has been married about 6 times. She has a tendency to crave marriage and doesn't know how to be on her own, so she hops from man to man - whoever has skills on assistance to help her at that point in her life. If that man can assist he financially and in skills (normally carpentry or home investments) and he can stick with her for 3 months then it generally leads to marriage. She is currently living with her ex husband, again. They break up 1-2 times per year when his benefits to he...

Friday was his birthday, it was already hard enough making it through Father's day, trying to be respectful. But his birthday weekend... Fridays I take the kids to my moms because I have to work early on Saturdays and it gives me a little break with the option of going out. Of which, in the past year we went out maybe twice, normally by my decree. This Friday he insists that I am his entertainment. I told him we could go get a bite to eat. We went out and the awkward silence, the forced avoidance of many conversation topics made a slow and painful dinner. But the night continued from there; he constantly joked that he was owed something else for his birthday. And I firmly stated that dinner was all he was getting, if he was looking for a good time he could find it elsewhere and suggested going out with his buddies. He persisted and insinuated my duties toward him. Living in the same house and being alone with the person you are divorcing on a Friday night is not a bright...