I am ready to go. Now.
Friday was his birthday, it was already hard enough making it through Father's day, trying to be respectful. But his birthday weekend...
Fridays I take the kids to my moms because I have to work early on Saturdays and it gives me a little break with the option of going out.
Of which, in the past year we went out maybe twice, normally by my decree.
This Friday he insists that I am his entertainment.
I told him we could go get a bite to eat.
We went out and the awkward silence, the forced avoidance of many conversation topics made a slow and painful dinner. But the night continued from there; he constantly joked that he was owed something else for his birthday. And I firmly stated that dinner was all he was getting, if he was looking for a good time he could find it elsewhere and suggested going out with his buddies.
He persisted and insinuated my duties toward him.
Living in the same house and being alone with the person you are divorcing on a Friday night is not a bright idea.
Like most nights, I just wanted to be alone...not with him.
Normally this consists of watching netflix or reading a book - chill time, recovery time.
I was sitting on the edge of the couch as normal, watching my show and as normally (no respect) I was interrupted by constant remarks and interjections from him, when he then decides to sit next to me on the couch stare at me and tell me how rude I am being for not pausing my show and paying attention to him. !I was in here minding my own business watching my show that I have now been forced to pause more times than I can count and no longer even feel like watching it (normal occurrence)!
This is when it starts, I clam up and my answers are short which leads him into "playful" aggression. He thinks its playful and cute, that his manhandling whenever he wants is sexy.
I somehow end up on the floor, on my back, pinned down.
A smile on his face, he lectures me that I will not be able to defend myself if I move to a poor area of town, that someone could easily attack me and rape me. While teaching me my lesson he puts himself in a position to further prove his point.
This continues with me struggling to prove to myself that I could get myself out of a situation like this....unsuccessfully.
That continued for 40 minutes, wrestling, scratching, biting to free myself while he laughs at my failed attempts.
Clothes remained on, but I felt defeated, not only then but for the next few days with tender wrists and his snickers as a reminder.
Fridays I take the kids to my moms because I have to work early on Saturdays and it gives me a little break with the option of going out.
Of which, in the past year we went out maybe twice, normally by my decree.
This Friday he insists that I am his entertainment.
I told him we could go get a bite to eat.
We went out and the awkward silence, the forced avoidance of many conversation topics made a slow and painful dinner. But the night continued from there; he constantly joked that he was owed something else for his birthday. And I firmly stated that dinner was all he was getting, if he was looking for a good time he could find it elsewhere and suggested going out with his buddies.
He persisted and insinuated my duties toward him.
Living in the same house and being alone with the person you are divorcing on a Friday night is not a bright idea.
Like most nights, I just wanted to be alone...not with him.
Normally this consists of watching netflix or reading a book - chill time, recovery time.
I was sitting on the edge of the couch as normal, watching my show and as normally (no respect) I was interrupted by constant remarks and interjections from him, when he then decides to sit next to me on the couch stare at me and tell me how rude I am being for not pausing my show and paying attention to him. !I was in here minding my own business watching my show that I have now been forced to pause more times than I can count and no longer even feel like watching it (normal occurrence)!
This is when it starts, I clam up and my answers are short which leads him into "playful" aggression. He thinks its playful and cute, that his manhandling whenever he wants is sexy.
I somehow end up on the floor, on my back, pinned down.
A smile on his face, he lectures me that I will not be able to defend myself if I move to a poor area of town, that someone could easily attack me and rape me. While teaching me my lesson he puts himself in a position to further prove his point.
This continues with me struggling to prove to myself that I could get myself out of a situation like this....unsuccessfully.
That continued for 40 minutes, wrestling, scratching, biting to free myself while he laughs at my failed attempts.
Clothes remained on, but I felt defeated, not only then but for the next few days with tender wrists and his snickers as a reminder.
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