I Finally Moved Out....

I finally moved out.

I moved to my mom's place (which is actually her ex husbands place - that is another story).

I hesitated to move for too long. I didn't want to leave my home, it didn't seem fair but I was tired of feeling suppressed.
Sleeping in a non judgement zone was so freeing. My chest, my soul felt so much lighter.
Unfortunately I not only have my own respect and self worth that I am working on through this process but also family karma I am overcoming as well.

My mother has been married about 6 times. She has a tendency to crave marriage and doesn't know how to be on her own, so she hops from man to man - whoever has skills on assistance to help her at that point in her life. If that man can assist he financially and in skills (normally carpentry or home investments) and he can stick with her for 3 months then it generally leads to marriage.
She is currently living with her ex husband, again. They break up 1-2 times per year when his benefits to her decline.

I knew that there was tension in their relationship, my mom's pre-pattern on leaving again was starting...
Here I am, taking a huge step by moving out.
My room is set up. It feels cozy. It feels clean. It feels like its mine.
4 days in, Mom starts the "WE are gonna need to find a place" comments.

-

Its been about a month now, her comments have simmered but I still feel an urgency to find a home.
But I don't have the energy.
I need to save my money, I need to work my business, I need debts paid off.
I feel stuck.
I feel like I'm in limbo.

I don't even feel like winning the lottery cure this despair, but it would help.