Bumble Bee Notes

The label  narcissist  is used loosely these days, typically to indicate anyone who is vain and selfish, but the true  personality disorder  and its traits run much deeper, and carry long-term debilitating effects for those involved with such people. If you were raised by a  narcissistic  parent or are in a relationship with a narcissist, you will likely feel more like an object to be used and manipulated to meet the narcissistic partner’s  goals  or needs. You eventually realize your partner does not see the  real  you. It is a heart-breaking discovery to realize you have been conned or duped by someone you trusted and loved. Below I'm offering you a checklist to determine if your relationship carries these devastating traits. Remember: Narcissism is a  spectrum  disorder; someone with a high level or number of these traits can be a more damaging influence on you, and your children. The more traits, the closer to a full-blo...

I have my moments of weakness. I fight them but I know that it is ok to be upset. Its not that I am upset he is dating someone else...I am actually happy about that. I just still get upset when I have still gained no value, there is still no appreciation for me, that he still doesn't understand me. And even that I have been working on letting go, however its hearing about his new girl doing what I do and then receiving praise about it. Would I call it emotional jealousy? No. It just feels like a slap in the face. He sucks the energy from me and I can see that I do the same for him. The energy exchange is not good. And I just need to accept that. I cannot allow him to drain me or have any more effect on me. I try to tell myself "I am love, I am light. I am love, I am light. I will respond with compassion" but I really just want to punch him square in the nose! Why does he cause me so much anger!? Yet I still find him physically attractive dispute the toxicity of ...

Friday was his birthday, it was already hard enough making it through Father's day, trying to be respectful. But his birthday weekend... Fridays I take the kids to my moms because I have to work early on Saturdays and it gives me a little break with the option of going out. Of which, in the past year we went out maybe twice, normally by my decree. This Friday he insists that I am his entertainment. I told him we could go get a bite to eat. We went out and the awkward silence, the forced avoidance of many conversation topics made a slow and painful dinner. But the night continued from there; he constantly joked that he was owed something else for his birthday. And I firmly stated that dinner was all he was getting, if he was looking for a good time he could find it elsewhere and suggested going out with his buddies. He persisted and insinuated my duties toward him. Living in the same house and being alone with the person you are divorcing on a Friday night is not a bright...