Moments of Weakness

I have my moments of weakness.
I fight them but I know that it is ok to be upset.

Its not that I am upset he is dating someone else...I am actually happy about that. I just still get upset when I have still gained no value, there is still no appreciation for me, that he still doesn't understand me.

And even that I have been working on letting go, however its hearing about his new girl doing what I do and then receiving praise about it. Would I call it emotional jealousy? No. It just feels like a slap in the face.

He sucks the energy from me and I can see that I do the same for him. The energy exchange is not good. And I just need to accept that. I cannot allow him to drain me or have any more effect on me.
I try to tell myself "I am love, I am light. I am love, I am light. I will respond with compassion" but I really just want to punch him square in the nose! Why does he cause me so much anger!?

Yet I still find him physically attractive dispute the toxicity of his narcissism...

-Just a note from Ellie Bumble
"Bumble Bee Notes"
Aug 13, 2017